Left v Right...it's not political!

'Nah Then!'

I'm left handed! It's no secret, I don't try to hide it in fact on the contrary I bloody love being left handed. It's arguably my best feature. Right behind my sparkling personality and being both vertically and follicolly challenged.

There are actually no real advantages of being left-handed, as we are largely forgotten about and ridiculed in a predominantly right-handed world.

Less than 11% of the worlds population are left-handed and back in the day it was beaten out of you or assumed that you were a wizard or a witch...not even the cool Hogwarts going kind either.

Now before you go on thinking this is a serious piece of journalism where I'm going to throw percentages and facts at you...it's not. It is a piece about how right-handed people are all smug s***s and need to be taken down a peg or two.

If you're left-handed then you will know doubt have been frustrated by the lack of consideration for our kind.

I spent my entire educational career on the left wing (not politically or from a footballing perspective) just so that I didn't knock any 'righties' elbows whilst my awkward crab like claw scribbled away.

Additionally it wasn't until high school that I was allowed to use an actual pen with actual ink as my hand proceeded to smudge everything I wrote.

In the UK at lest we had left-handed scissors that had green and yellow handles. They still give me nightmares. The right handed scissors were red as in Right/Red just like Left/Green & ah who gives a s**t theres only one pair of them and they're broken anyways.

Right-handed people you didn't even know you were born.

As an adult now I turn my disgust to peoples attitudes and reactions to left-handed people.

At a certain point it becomes laughable. A fully grown adult will see me blatantly performing an everyday task (writing, throwing...hitting a right-handed person) and EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail they will say something along these lines:

"Oh..a leftie are you?" to which, I will usually respond with something like: "Nah mate I'm right-handed and fancied a challenge you spanner!"

Another classic response to being left handed, is: "Oh my mothers aunties, neighbours cat was left-handed."

Oh fantastic! That is the best story I have ever heard please tell me more.

Yes, there is no doubt. It's a lonely world as a 'smudger' August 13th is 'International Left-Handed Day,' where we...well I'm not sure what we do really we just continue to be left-handed. If you're left-handed then everyday is left handed day just in the same way that if you're a male everyday is p***s day.

Lefties be proud, be patient and be strong, we may not have a massive place in this world but what we do have is wonderfully weird and never boring.