'Egg on my face.'

Nah Then! Monday evenings for me have always been designated; 'food shop Mondays.' Not for any particular reason, that's just the way it is.

If I can be completely honest "I love food shopping." I really do. I derive huge amounts of pleasure from it. I typically buy the same foods (brands quantity and combinations), I am loyal to one supermarket so I know the layout and can usually find everything pretty quickly and as result it usually comes to around the same price, give or take*

*Disclaimer if I have been a very good boy I will of course chuck in some treats (nuts, biscuits, sweets etc). Spoiler alert. "I am always a good boy!"

To set the scene and fully explain to you the source of my anger and how I got there I must first tell you that this particular 'food shop Monday,' was a little later than usual and also a different supermarket so I kind of asked for it a little.

The date 9th July 2018 (last Monday), location: Supermarket. TOA (Time Of Arrival) 8.10pm.

It started out like any other FSM things were going well, two thirds of the shop were completed and as always treats were making their way in the trolley. Things 'WERE' going just fine until I got to the eggs. Now at this point I didn't know the eggs were going to set me off that comes later.

Just your basic carton of six eggs...cage free I'm not an animal (unless they are loads are cheaper, but I have a bag for life it cancels it out).

Fast forward to getting home and putting the shopping away. I put my eggs in the fridge and Im lead to believe that some people don't do this. I'm here to tell you these people are wrong and also probably don't wet their toothbrush before they brush. I digress. As I'm reaching in to the fridge, a big bright red label with the best before date caught my eye. I brought them back out to check the date (so I could determine the day I would have my four egg omelette). I almost dropped the box when I read: "30th June"

For anyone who has just started reading at this point, first of all: WHY? second you may not know the date was now the 9th of JULY.

A wave of rage came crashing over me and my mind started racing. My immediate reaction was to find a customer service number to speak to someone. Sadly this isn't how farmers operate. After all it was hardly his (or hers it's 2018) fault and I couldn't possibly be mad a the eggs. Eggs are wonderful in every way shape and form. Eggs are probably my 4th favourite food. I'm a sucker for a food that can be cooked in multiple forms (don't get me started on potatoes). Again I digress.

My anger now fully directed towards the supermarket. "How could they let this happen?" A day or two I could maybe understand. I once pointed out to a young ambitious lad that a chocolate eclair was about to expire that day but that was mostly for personal gain. Over a week however and over a week with a food, that if not handled properly can have devastating health consequences.

At this point I was disgusted, but was I going to drive back and complain?! Of course not. Instead I just paced up and down the kitchen swearing at myself and cursing the supermarket for their sub-par performance and more importantly ruing FSM and inevitably the rest of my week.

Suddenly I remembered something. The reason I had become distracted and hadn't noticed at the time of purchasing the eggs. In the distance I could hear the very words can set me off in any supermarket: "Unexpected item in bagging area."

That's right some fool had naively decided to use the self checkout. I loath

these machines with a passion. First of all what a weird word to use 'unexpected.' How unexpected can a tin of beans be in a supermarket. If the gentleman had placed a car steering wheel there or a lion perhaps. That I would consider unexpected. That being said all the items of someones shop should be 'unexpected' to a scanning robot. I only flipped a coin on the fish fingers 10 minutes a go myself so tonights dinner I would imagine did come as quite the shock to you computer.

Finally the amount of change (you can see how this distracted me at the time) you get. Who knew 50c change could be dispensed in 57 coins.

Snap back to today. Here I sit typing this. I can laugh now. I didn't replace the eggs I threw them out and let it be. The calming factor was the thought of my regular supermarket. They would never have let that happen and what is more they don't even have self checkout. No this is simply a learning experience and proof that loyalty pays off.

Have a great weekend boys and girls.