A tepid cup of milk.

Now as I eluded to up there ^ this blog serves absolutely no purpose. It more than likely won't have any continuity, certainly won't be in chronological order and is guaranteed not be of any relevance to 99.9% of you.

That being said I find it fitting that my first post is about the worst cup of tea I have ever received to date. In all my 29 years, never have I EVER been offered up such swill and in fact to call it 'tea' in the first place would be an offence to the very word itself.

In the interest of giving this some context, I'd like to point out that as a proud Yorkshire man, tea is about as important to me as blood. Not to overdramatise this is any way but it s a big deal.

This heinous crime was committed on a recent flight back from Bali using an airline that will remain anonymous but for the purpose of the story we will call 'Airgin Vustralia.'

Having already completed the first leg of the journey from Bali to Sydney, it was time to complete the second (Sydney to Queenstown) and after 11 days of excessive living in Indonesia the thought of lovely cuppa and a snooze was very attractive to me.

I would like to point out that I know airline tea or coffee for that matter is ever going to be award-winning. The people that work on board airlines are by no means Baristas but when making a cup of tea there are blatant rules that need to be followed.

I politely placed my order for "one cup of tea" a certain level of excitement and anticipation running over me. That was all soon to be ripped from me as inshore horror I looked on and saw...milk being added to a cup with only a tea bag in it, swiftly followed by warm water (what little room there was left after the 2.8 pints of milk that were used).

Milk first? Clearly this lady had some kind of satanic agenda as she did all of this making perfect eye contact and smiling ear to ear...teeth an all.

To my sheer amazement and disgust the lady shuffled on to the next person and was left unpunished for her actions.

What to do with this now tepid cup of milk?! Only one thing I could do really...pour it in to a sick bag and fake travel sickness.